


Crossing Your Path: Episode One

by CorruptedSmile



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Fast and the Furious Series, xXx (2002)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-04
Updated: 2010-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-13 19:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1237657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorruptedSmile/pseuds/CorruptedSmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First episode of the blind date show "Crossing Your Path". Slash. Crack!fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction to the Madness

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own anything you recognise, I probably do own everything you don’t recognise and I’m not making any money from writing this story.

‘Buffy: the Vampire Slayer’ is owned by Twentieth Century Fox and others, ‘Fast & Furious’ is owned by Universal Studios and others while ‘xXx’ is owned by Revolution Studios and others.

And those others that I’m talking about? I’m not them either.

 **Crossover:** It’s a multiple crossover between B:tVs, xXx, F &F and SPN. I mention Harry Potter, Xena: Warrior Princess and Charmed as well.

 **Pairing:** I’m going to have to keep you guessing this time, because if I told you already, it will spoil the surprise.

 **Rating:** FR13, because minor adult themes are going to be mentioned. Swearing is also going to be found in this story.

 **Spoilers:** For everything. There will be spoilers for SPN, B:tVS, xXx and F &F so, keep that in mind when you start reading.

 **Summary:** It’s a blind date show for all fandom characters. Yes, you have read it correctly: a blind date show. Slash. Threesome. Crack!fic.

 **Challenge:** This is for challenge 264: Winner takes it all. This challenge was made by Jinni.

 

 

‘thinking’  
“talking”  
 _emphasis_

 

 

**Story: Crossing Your Path**

 

 

**Chapter One: Introduction To The Madness**

 

 

“Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, for another episode of _Crossing Your Path_ ; the blind date show for all fandom characters. As always, I would like to thank my mother, Ellen Harvelle, for letting us use Harvelle’s Roadhouse for this show,” Jo Harvelle announced in her best host-like voice while looking into camera one. “The two possible blind dates were handpicked by friends of the contestant again.” She turned to look into camera two and grinned widely. “Tonight we have Xander Harris on the show. Xander Harris is a regular character on the immensely popular _Buffy: the Vampire Slayer_ series. Let’s give him a big round of applause, everyone!”

She turned to look at the door Xander walked through and smiled in his direction while the audience went wild at the sight of the young man who was sauntering towards the stage.

‘Correction: the very good-looking young man,’ Jo thought, giving Xander a quick onceover while she waited until he reached the stage.

\---

After greeting each other, Xander and Jo went to sit down on the couch which was standing in the middle of the stage.

“Tell us, Mr. Harris, how did you get involved in this particular blind date show? No offence or anything, but you don’t exactly look like you need help in the dating department,” Jo told Xander, turning to look at him.

“First of all, call me Xander, please. Mister Harris makes me sound so old, not to mention that it reminds me of my dad. Secondly, I didn’t get involved in this willingly. My wonderful—note the sarcasm when I say this—friends and family pushed me into doing this. It’s especially the fault of my girls—or so I’ve heard,” he answered.

Jo looked at him strangely. “Your _girls_? Why are you on this show if you have girls? And really, you have more than one girl?”

“Oh, no. Jesus, no, it’s not like that. My girls are family, my _chosen_ family; they are the annoying older and younger sisters I never really wanted, but got stuck with somehow, anyway. Honestly, you don’t sleep with your family. Incest is _not_ best—even though I’m not technically related to them.” He looked at his rapt audience. “No offence or anything, Dean and Sam. And Fred and George. And Charlie and Bill. And Joxer, Jett and Jace. And Wyatt and Chris—”

Everybody laughed at the predicament that Xander suddenly found himself in when all the siblings who Xander had just been summing up glared at the unfortunate blind date contestant in question.

Xander winced when he figured out that he had been steadily digging a deeper hole in the last five minutes. “Let’s just keep things simple: _I_ would never sleep with family. Although, I did sleep with Faith—but that was before I saw her as a sister. And, yes, I did kiss Cordelia and Willow—but that can be seen as temporary insanity. Aw, hell.” He blushed and then got an mortified look on his face when he noticed all the eyes that were watching him closely. “Look, I don’t have a problem with people who sleep with some of their closest family members, but I would never do it myself. And I’m going to stop talking now before this hole gets any deeper.”

\---

Jo grinned at the babbled explanation. “That was an absolutely fascinating piece of information, Xander, but what was your actual answer to my question?”

“Oh, right. Well, like I said: my girls pushed me into this. They went behind my back and set this all up. Hell, I didn’t even know where I was going tonight; they actually brought me here under a false pretence. I thought I was going out to this club where we usually go to on Monday nights.” He glared at the girls who were all trying to look as innocent as possible. “But don’t you think that I will ever forget this. I’ll get you for this. You will wish that you could travel back in time by the time I’m done with my revenge on you!”

“You believe in time travel?” Jo asked Xander, studying him closely.

“With all the things that I’ve already seen in my short life? Hell yeah!” Xander said, grinning widely. “Besides, geeks usually do believe in time travel.”

Jo grinned back. “Does this mean that you think of yourself as a geek?”

“No, I don’t _think_ that I’m a geek; I _know_ that I’m one. That’s okay, though. I don’t have a problem with it,” Xander assured her. “That being said: I may be a geek, but I’m one with a body most people would kill or would die for to have these days.”

Jo gave Xander another onceover; this one slower—and more noticeable—than the first one. “I must say that I totally agree with that comment. How did you get so fit, Xander?”

Xander beamed at that wonderful comment and preened a bit; showing off his physique perfectly for his audience. “It’s a combination of fighting demons and other assorted nasties and keeping up with my construction slash carpentry work. I watch what I eat too, of course. No going to the gym needed.”

\---

“Now, before we begin today’s episode . . . How about we ask Xander’s friends and family why they wanted him to be on this show,” Jo said, once again looking into camera one before it moved in the direction of the audience.

A employee of the show walked to Cordelia and gave her a microphone.

“Why did you do so, Cordelia?”

“To be honest, Jo, we only wanted Xander to finally find someone who wouldn’t try to kill him,” was the quick answer.

“We just wanted him to finally be happy,” Buffy added to Cordelia’s statement after she had taken the microphone from her.

\---

“May I ask why you picked these particular blind dates?” Jo asked, looking at them curiously.

“We thought that Xander deserved to have someone hot who was totally into him,” Dawn answered, “and there is no doubt that these two men are _smoking_ hot!”

A collective sigh travelled through the ranks of the girls and even Giles had a special glint in his eyes at the thought of whom they had picked out for Xander.

“Xander also deserves to find someone who isn’t afraid of what goes bump in the night,” Willow added. “That is a real deal breaker for us, because of the kind of work that we do. We asked both of them what they thought about all that and they seemed to accept it. Besides, they weren’t afraid of picking up a weapon and attacking when it should be needed which is the kind of thinking that we can only reinforce. Because unfortunately, it’s needed in our line of work.”

“Both are also very protective which is a good thing when it comes to dating Xander,” Faith continued, “because he gets kidnapped all the freaking time if you don’t watch him 24/7. He attracts trouble like you wouldn’t believe, Jo.”

“And last but not least,” Giles said, “they are both very jealous and possessive men; in this case that is also a good thing. You see, Xander has this habit of attracting the wrong kind of attention from demons. Whenever someone walks up to him, we can be 99% sure that that person isn’t a person at all, but some sort of demon who wants Xander to be his or her mate, who wants to feed from him, who wants to have sex with him before killing him, etc. Keeping an eye on Xander 24/7 is a very tiring, fulltime job which we hope can be shared with whoever the person is who he picks at the end of this show.”

\---

“Could you tell the rest of the audience what place you have in Xander’s life? What kind of relationship do you have with him?” Jo asked Giles. She looked him over and smiled. “I’m certain that you aren’t one of Xander’s girls. Or are you hiding something, Mr. Giles?”

Giles sighed and shook his head at the sassy girl while inwardly smiling at the straightforward questions she asked. ‘She’s just like Cordelia and Faith. She would fit in well amongst us, that’s for sure.’ He smiled at Jo. “I’m almost afraid to say this, Jo, but I’m Xander’s father figure.”

“Thanks, Giles!” Xander yelled from his spot on the stage.

He grinned widely at his girls who in turn grinned back equally widely before they all turned to look at a slowly reddening Giles.

\---

Jo grinned at the way the group acted around each other.

“I also wanted to know why you picked two men to be Xander’s blind dates instead of going with two female blind dates? Because, I have to admit, your two choices have made me very curious.”

“That would be because Xander has tried relationships with women and they never worked out for him. So, we decided on trying to set him up with a men,” Cordelia answered. “And what better way of ensuring that he picks a guy then by picking out two guys ourselves.”

“Not only that, he also once asked me to gay him up,” Willow added, “which is what we decided on doing; whether he liked it or not.”

All the girls grinned their most shark-like at the embarrassed-looking Xander and even Giles could be seen with the hint of a smile on his face.

And it was at that exact moment that Xander began to seriously wonder what his girls—and apparently also Giles—had done.

‘Because this sure does sound scary. Which two men did they find who won’t mind my job and who are both hot, protective, possessive and jealous?! Please, please, please, don’t let it be any guy from my fandom.’

 

 

**End Chapter One.**

 

 

 **A/N:** There is absolutely nothing I can say in my defence. I loved writing the first chapter of this piece of absolute madness, though, and I hope you all had a good laugh with it too. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it started getting longer and longer which is why I decided to cut it up and make it a chaptered story. You may expect more chapters soon.

If you enjoyed reading this, let me know, please. I enjoy writing crack!fics, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing from others that they liked it too. Flames are not to be given to me on pain of something horrible. Because, you know, I get a lot of ideas from the films I like watching. Constructive criticism which is given in a non-irritating way is also very welcome.

For those of you who are also following my three series _Love Is_ , _Extras_ and _SAR_ : as I have an absolutely massive amount of college work to do, I won’t be posting any new chapters and stories for them. That doesn’t mean that I’ve run out of ideas; it means that I simply don’t have the time to go over the written chapters the way I usually do before posting them. And I refuse to post anything without doing so.

I know that I have been a less than regular updates these last few months, but as always, the summer holidays are really crazy time of year for me. I do hope you understand, because it can’t be helped, I’m afraid.


	2. Dirty Questions and Crazy Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First episode of the blind date show "Crossing Your Path". Slash. Crack!fic.

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own anything you recognise, I probably do own everything you don’t recognise and I’m not making any money from writing this story.

‘Buffy: the Vampire Slayer’ is owned by Twentieth Century Fox and others, ‘Fast & Furious’ is owned by Universal Studios and others while ‘xXx’ is owned by Revolution Studios and others.

And those others that I’m talking about? I’m not (part of) them either.

 **Crossover:** It’s a multiple crossover between B:tVs, xXx, F &F and SPN. I mention Harry Potter and Charmed as well.

 **Pairing:** Have you figured out yet which pairing this is going to be?

 **Rating:** FR13, because of minor adult themes being mentioned.

 **Spoilers:** For everything. There will be spoilers for SPN, B:tVS, xXx and F &F so, keep that in mind when you start reading.

 **Summary:** It’s a blind date show for all fandom characters. Yes, you have read it correctly: a blind date show.

 **Extra info:** This is for challenge 264: Winner takes it all. This challenge was made by Jinni. Slash. Threesome. Crack!fic.

 

 

‘thinking’  
“talking”  
 _emphasis_

 

 

**Story: Crossing Your Path**

 

 

**Chapter Two: Dirty Questions And Crazy Answers**

 

 

“Thank you all very much for answering these questions,” Jo announced. “And now, let’s actually begin with today’s episode of Crossing Your Path.” She turned to look at Xander and asked, “Do you have your questions ready, Xander?”

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it in the air triumphantly. “Yes, I have them right here, Jo.”

“Well then, let’s begin with your first question.”

\---

Taking a deep breath, Xander turned to look at the two door that led to the rooms in which the contestants were (not so?) patiently waiting.

“Tell me about the most death defying stunt that you have ever done,” Xander asked seriously. “Number one, you go first.”

“I once entered an illegal street race,” was the answer after which there came a pregnant pause that lasted for a good five seconds. “An illegal street race on a street that _wasn’t_ closed down.”

The audience applauded at that answer.

“That _is_ rather death defying, number one,” Xander told the man. “Number two, you’re up next. What was your most death defying stunt?”

“I once drove a stolen car down a bridge.”

Once again, the audience applauded.

“Good answers,” Jo said approvingly. “What’s your next questions for the two, Xander?”

\---

“Have you ever been in any other death defying situations?” Xander asked. “Other stunts maybe or maybe something else entirely different; that doesn’t matter to me.”

“I’ve been shot at more than once,” number one answered after thinking things through for minute.

“Oh please, been there and done that,” number two replied to that.

“I did jail time once for two years in Lompoc; that’s a maximum security prison,” number one added. “I’m not proud of why I ended up there, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t death defying. Not even taking a shower was safe, because heaven forbid that you dropped your soap while around other naked men!”

The audience chuckled collectively.

“Got the member card of that one too,” number two said. “I got out on early parole, because of my impeccable—yeah, that’s what they called it—behaviour.”

“Okay, I think we can safely say that both have led an interesting life so far,” Jo interrupted the metaphorical pissing contest that was going on between the two candidates. She turned to look at Xander. “Why did you want to know about those kind of situations?”

“It’s basically the same question we use in this game that me and my friends often play,” Xander answered. “We call it: Who Has Done What And Why Was It Death Defying?”

Jo and audience laughed at the strange name of the game.

“Very nice,” she said. “Very well done, gentlemen. Could you please ask your next question, Xander?”

\---

“If you, for some reason, got stuck on a deserted island, which three things would you take with you?” Xander asked. “Number two, you’re up first this time. Number one, you’re up next.”

“My friends, my bazooka and my car,” number two said immediately, not having to think twice about his answer.

“I would take my team, our cars and every tool and wrecked car in my garage,” number one answered gruffly. “Except for the tools that run on electricity, of course. Those wouldn’t do me any good on a deserted island.”

“Xander, they gave some really good answers there,” Jo told him. “Family and friends obviously come first for the two. Is that a good thing in your book?”

“That’s really important to me; friends and family come first for me too,” Xander answered. “I also like the fact that they each have something that they consider to be their toys. I myself definitely consider my carpentry tools to be my toys. Not to mention that both seem to have a sense of humour not unlike my own.”

“Right, so,” Jo said, “what’s your third question for the two contestants, Xander?”

\---

“Last fandom character who you had an inappropriate thought about?” Xander asked. “Doesn’t have to be from your fandom, though.”

He grinned cheekily when he asked that question and winked in the direction of camera two; which the men couldn’t see him, but the audience could. They all roared with laughter. A few of them—also known as every single one of his girls—even had to nerve to wolf-whistle and/or hoot at that question.

“Brian O’Connor,” number one answered straight away.

Brian blushed a bright-red at that answer and patiently endured the ribbing he got from his friends. While enduring that, he vowed to get back at his friend for daring to give that answer on a widely-watched show.

“There are a lot of different characters who are being used in PWPs on fan fiction sites, aren’t there?” number two asked.

“I take it that that's a yes,” Xander replied with a laugh.

Jo and the audience laughed as well.

“What did you think about their answers, Xander?” Jo asked her candidate.

“I liked both answers. I liked number one’s answer, because he really didn’t need to think about it and I liked number two’s answer, because he basically admitted to checking fan fiction sites.” Xander got a teasing glint in his eyes. “I wonder if that means that he checks out his own character in PWP stories too . . .”

That mischievous statement made the audience and Jo roar with laughter again.

“I do check out my own character in PWPs, yes,” came the mock-serious answer from number two. “I especially like reading slash stories that feature my character prominently. I learn new stuff every day by reading those. To be honest, sometimes I come across things that I didn’t think were possible.” He paused. “Oops, I’m sorry, I didn’t expect my answer to come out like that; I thought I was thinking it and not saying it. My bad.”

Once again, everybody started laughing.

Xander chuckled. “That one has a definite sense of humour. I like that in a possible date . . .”

\---

“Okay, Xander. What’s the next question on your list?” Jo asked him after things had calmed down.

“If you had a choice, what would you pick: would you go for thongs or would you go commando?” Xander asked.

“Commando,” number one said without hesitation.

“Commando,” number two agreed, “definitely.”

Every gay male and straight female character in the audience began to holler and hoot at those two answers.

“Now _that’s_ what I call some very nice answers. Very telling too, I believe,” Jo purred, fanning herself with her hand. “What’s your last question for the two, Xander?”

\---

Looking down at the hands, Xander blushed.

‘What was I thinking putting this question on my list of things to ask?!’ he thought to himself.

“What is your favourite type of oral activity?” Xander asked after having cleared his throat.

“Eating!” number one and two said at the same time that the audience _and_ Jo ooh-ed and aah-ed at that daring question.

‘That man!’ Jo thought, grinning widely. ‘No one but Xander Harris would dare to ask this question on a show that is watched by all kinds of characters of all ages across a wide variety of fandoms.’

The audience and she started laughing at the answers the two men gave.

“Really?!” Jo asked, throwing an interested look in the direction of the two doors. “Out of everything you can do with your mouth eating is your favourite thing to do?”

“I actually _like_ their answers,” Xander replied in their stead, grinning widely. “That’s definitely something that I would come up with if asked.”

“If you say so,” Jo answered, smiling at him.

\---

She turned to look into camera one. “And _that_ , ladies and gentlemen, was Xander’s last question. Xander will now have to pick whoever he wants to be the winner. You can find the deliberation room there, Xander.”

Xander smiled at Jo, waved at the audience and walked into the room Jo had pointed out to him.

“As you all know, Xander will get fifteen minutes to decide which man he wants to bring home to meet his family and friends, date, marry and have children with—no, wait, that’s for female contestants,” Jo said, grinning. “While he’s in there thinking about his options, I suggest we take a break. A word from our sponsors will be given during this fifteen minute break and after that we will call Xander back into this room.”

Bright lights flashed on and everyone started to murmur amongst themselves. Jo and the two contestants left their seats to get their make-up touched up before they started on the last part of the show.

‘After all,’ she thought, ‘we must look our best for the grand finale.’

 

 

**End Chapter Two.**

 

 

 **A/N:** I hope you enjoyed this second chapter as much as you enjoyed the first chapter. More is still to come.

I do hope that by now you have figured out who number one and number two are . . . Any guesses may be given in a _private_ review (I prefer not letting anyone know your answer), because . . . reviews are always very welcome. And I still reserve the right to mock all flames addressed to me.


	3. Difficult Choices, Easily Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First episode of the blind date show "Crossing Your Path". Slash. Crack!fic.

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own anything you recognise, I probably do own everything you don’t recognise and I’m not making any money from writing this story.

‘Buffy: the Vampire Slayer’ is owned by Twentieth Century Fox and others, ‘Fast & Furious’ is owned by Universal Studios and others while ‘xXx’ is owned by Revolution Studios and others.

And those others that I’m talking about? I’m not (part of) them either.

 **Crossover:** It’s a multiple crossover between B:tVs, xXx, F &F and SPN. I mention Harry Potter and Charmed as well.

 **Pairing:** Have you figured out yet which pairing this is going to be?

 **Rating:** FR15, because of minor adult themes at the end of the chapter and because of some swearing that’s going on—not much but still . . .

 **Spoilers:** For everything. There will be spoilers for SPN, B:tVS, xXx and F &F so, keep that in mind when you start reading.

 **Summary:** It’s a blind date show for all fandom characters. Yes, you have read it correctly: a blind date show.

 **Extra info:** This is for challenge 264: Winner takes it all. This challenge was made by Jinni. Slash. Threesome. Crack!fic.

 

 

‘thinking’  
“talking”  
 _emphasis_

 

 

**Story: Crossing Your Path**

 

 

**Chapter Three: Difficult Choices, Easily Made**

 

 

 

“Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Fifteen minutes ago, we sent Xander Harris to a room where he had to make a very important choice,” Jo said seriously, turning to the audience. “We sent him to the deliberation room with the strict orders to pick one of the two men. And just in case, we also gave him two pictures in a closed envelope and a dart in order to choose, if he couldn’t pick one himself for one reason or the other.”

She turned to look into camera two.

“And as always: once you have chosen to use the dart to pick, you can’t go back if the person staring back at you from the picture isn’t to your liking. This blind date show truly is a show based on the contestants and their personality; it’s not based on looks like many other shows are at the moment. Let’s call Xander back.”

Xander walked in the room; holding the dart and the two pictures in his hands.

“Erm, we might have a bit of a problem, Jo,” he said, blushing and biting his lip self-consciously.

“A problem?” Jo echoed, looking at him confused. “What sort of problem, Xander?”

“A big problem.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Yes, I gathered that, but what _kind_ of problem?”

“See, it went like this: I couldn’t decide on my own who I wanted to pick, which is why I took the dart and threw it at the two pictures that I had hung up on the wall,” Xander began to explain, “and no sooner than I had thrown the dart, it broke apart in two pieces. Andeachpiecehitoneofthepictureswhichmeansthatbothguyshavebeenchosenbythemagicsurroundingthedarttobemydate.”

Blinking, Jo tilted her head. “I’m absolutely certain that you said something, Xander, but I haven’t understood a word of it. Could you say that again? Only this time try to do so slower and with breaks between each word. That makes it a lot easier to understand, you know.”

\---

It was with some confusion that Jo saw Xander turn even more red when she asked him to repeat what he had just said. Amazed, she watched the red colour spread down while idly wondering where the colour stopped exactly.

‘Does it go all the way down?’ she thought, following the imaginary path the colour could take with her eyes. She breathed out. ‘Phew, are these lights hot or what?!’

Xander looked down at the two white envelopes in his hands. “I couldn’t choose, so I took the dart and threw it at the pictures—”

“Which is not as strange as you may think, Xander,” Jo told him patiently. “We have had many contestants who couldn’t pick on their own and had to resort to throwing the dart. That’s why we give them to you: in case you can’t decide, the dart will pick who of the two is best suited for you.”

“I _know_ that!” Xander said exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air. “The problem is that the stupid dart broke into two identical-sized pieces and that each piece hit a one of the pictures!”

\---

Jo paled. “But that would mean that—”

“Both of them were recognised as being the best guy for me,” Xander said, finishing her sentence. “Yes, exactly!”

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, waiting for the reaction that he knew was coming soon.

“This is _definitely_ something that hasn’t happened before on this show,” Jo replied, looking at him calmly. “This means that either your dart malfunctioned for some reason, that it picked both men, because they were both perfect for you or that it picked both of them, because together they are perfect for you.”

“Oh, great, Xander Harris’ life took another turn for the worst again,” he said frustrated, rubbing his forehead to stave off the headache he could feel coming. “I don’t know why these things always happen to me?! It’s like I’m wearing this huge sign that’s invisible to everyone but the Powers above us which says: screw me over, please; I enjoy it immensely!”

\---

A sudden snort which evolved into loud laughter came from the direction of the audience. Turning, Xander and Jo searched for the culprit. Knowing his girls, Xander immediately sought them out. Pointing, he drew Jo’s attention to a snickering Buffy and Willow and an almost howling Cordelia and Faith.

“Somehow breaking a dart that’s not meant to be broken,” Dawn exclaimed loudly, grinning widely, “is definitely something that would only happen to Xander.”

The rest of the audience began to laugh too when they heard her say that. Xander turned to look sheepishly at Jo, because he knew that on some level Dawn was right about him.

Cordelia pointed in the direction of the two rooms the two men were still waiting and suggested, “I recommend that we ask the two possible dates over there if they would mind sharing Xander.”

“That’s a great idea,” Jo agreed easily. She turned to look into camera one and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been waiting for has now come: reveal time. The two men who were hand-picked by Xander’s friends and family are: Dominic Toretto and Xander Cage!”

Under thunderous applause, the two men stepped out of their rooms.

\---

Xander looked in disbelief at both men who were walking towards where he was sitting next to Jo on the stage.

“They look exactly the same,” he whispered to Jo, leaning in close, so no one could understand what he was saying.

“We know,” Jo said, trying to reassure him. “Hell, everyone knew; including your friends, family and them. Cordelia muttered something about a certain actor you love watching at work . . .”

Xander only blushed. “And now the embarrassment is complete,” he said quietly.

Jo grinned back at him.

\---

While walking towards the stage, Dom and Xander saw Xander ignoring them both by talking to Jo. Looking over at one another, they both raised an eyebrow as soon as they had given each other a onceover.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Dom asked gruffly.

Xander smirked and nodded in agreement.

‘Gotta love thinking alike,’ he thought. He leered at Dom and got an exact replica of that leer back. ‘Gotta love looking alike too.’

\---

Coming to a stop in front of Jo and Xander, they silently waited with crossed arms until they looked up.

As soon as they had, Dom looked at Jo and spoke up for the two of them. “We don’t mind sharing him.”

“Excuse me!” Xander spluttered indignantly. “Don’t I have a say in this?! I’m nothing a—a thing! You can’t just go around treating people like _things_! I’ve got my own thoughts on stuff!”

Dom raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you have a problem with being our third? You _have_ looked us over, right?!”

They both gave him a telling look.

“Yes—no—but you can’t just—”

The rest of Xander’s reaction was suddenly muffled by rough kiss. And being totally overwhelmed, Xander didn’t do anything for a long five seconds. When it had sunk in what was happening, he kissed back just as fiercely; clinging to the strong shoulders of the man who was quite literally stealing his breath away.

\---

Turning away from the amazing sight his soon-to-be lovers presented, Dom looked Jo and smirked. “I don’t think Xander would mind being shared by the two of us, after all.”

“That’s great!’ Jo beamed. “This means that there’s a happy ending for all, after all.” She turned to look into camera one. “Once again, difficult choices were part of this show. Who could have known that in the end they would have been so easily made? Join us again in a few weeks when we find out what these three men’s dating experience has been like. This was Jo Harvelle for _Crossing Your Path_. Goodnight, everyone!”

Having said that, she turned back to look at Xander and Xander kissing. By that time, Dom was standing behind Xander, sandwiching him between the two of them.

‘Hmm, hot boy sandwich,’ she thought happily.

She quickly checked for drool and then went back to her watching.

 

 

**End Chapter Three.**

 

 

 **A/N:** I’ve been getting some amazing reactions to this story of mine. I adore every single one of my reviewers. I’d dare say: keep up the good work! *grins* Also to everyone who is reading and/or tracking this story: thank you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this third chapter at least as much as the first two, if not more. Reviews are very much welcome. Flames are still not wanted nor needed. If someone does leave me one . . . Well, I think you know what will happen, but I’ll say it again: flames will be seriously mocked by me and probably my friends as well. You have been warned.


	4. Love Them or Hate Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First episode of the blind date show "Crossing Your Path". Slash. Crack!fic.

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own anything you recognise, I probably do own everything you don’t recognise and I’m not making any money from writing this story.

‘Buffy: the Vampire Slayer’ is owned by Twentieth Century Fox and others, ‘Fast & Furious’ is owned by Universal Studios and others while ‘xXx’ is owned by Revolution Studios and others.

And those others that I’m talking about? I’m not (part of) them either.

 **Crossover:** It’s a multiple crossover between B:tVs, xXx, F &F and SPN. I mention Harry Potter and Charmed as well.

 **Pairing:** Have you figured out yet that the pairing will be Xander/Dom/Xander. You hadn’t? Well, you know now.

 **Rating:** FR15, because of some mentioning of slash.

 **Spoilers:** For everything. There will be spoilers for SPN, B:tVS, xXx and F &F so, keep that in mind when you start reading.

 **Summary:** It’s a blind date show for all fandom characters. Yes, you have read it correctly: a blind date show.

 **Extra info:** This is for challenge 264: Winner takes it all. This challenge was made by Jinni. Slash. Threesome. Crack!fic.

 

 

‘thinking’  
“talking”  
 _emphasis_  
time and/or place

 

 

**Story: Crossing Your Path**

 

 

**Chapter Four: Love Them or Hate Them?**

 

 

_Harvelle’s Roadhouse, Five Weeks Later_

“Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, for another episode of _Crossing Your Path_ ; the blind date show for all fandom characters. Today we welcome back Dominic Toretto, Xander Harris and Xander Cage. Give them a warm round of applause, everyone!” Jo announced, looking in the direction of camera one.

She then turned to watch the three men walk towards the stage.

\---

“Hello, Jo,” Xander said, clasping her hand tightly in his own as soon as he was close enough to do so. “Good to see you.”

Jo smiled and shook his hand firmly. “Good to see you too, Xander.”

Cage and Dom greeted her as well, before they sat down on the couch in front of her.

“Going by the sappy looks on your faces, I take it that things have been going well between the three of you?” Jo asked.

Xander sighed deeply and smiled at his lovers who grinned back at him. “Things between us have been going extremely well, Jo.”

“Don’t leave us hanging then!” Jo exclaimed. “Tell us more! The audience and I are practically _dying_ to find out about the *cough* _things_ you’ve been doing together these last few weeks.”

She gave a cheeky grin at both the camera and the audience and winked at the three men sitting in front of her. Everyone in the room burst out into laughter.

Cage smirked and said, “It’s not only _things_ that we have been doing these last few weeks, Jo.”

Jo and the audience ooh-ed and aah-ed at that answer while Dom smirked and Xander blushed.

“It could be my imagination, but that sounds a bit, um, dirty,” Jo pointed out to him, giving Cage a sly grin.

Dom gave her slow wink. “Wouldn’t you like to know that we have been—”

Xander coughed and quickly interrupted Dom before he could finish his sentence. He gave him a warning look. “A _real_ gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, Dom.”

“Saying that means that a) you think that I’m a gentleman—which I’m absolutely not; not even close—and b) that I’m allowed to tell about the things we have been doing besides kissing,” Dom pointed out to him.

“Not to mention that there’s kissing and _kissing_ ,” Cage said. “Which kind of kissing were you referring too, Xander? Kissing on the lips or on the neck or kissing your c—”

Xander quickly slapped his hand over Cage’s mouth and glared at the laughing Dom. This time he gave Cage a warning look. “Kissing my _chest_ is what you were going to say, wasn’t it, X?”

“No, not really,” Cage answered thoughtfully. “That wasn’t what I was going to say; not even close, actually.”

The audience clapped and hooted loudly amidst yelled demands of explanations for what Cage was about to say then, if what Xander had said, wasn’t it.

\---

Xander groaned and decided on trying to steer the conversation in a safer—correction, in the _right_ direction.

“I must admit that we have been doing a lot of things,” Xander answered, looking thoughtfully at her. “Eating—”

“Something that’s really delicious and which I rarely got while I was still living with my sister Mia and the rest of my team,” Dom said, interrupting Xander. “It’s this white, liquid substance. Tastes a bit weird at first—especially if it’s warm—but you get used to it. You really need to watch that it doesn’t hit any kind of cloth, though, because the stains are a bitch to get out when they are dry.”

The audience and Jo all gasped. Some could be seen fanning themselves, while other could be seen restraining themselves from drooling.

“Dom!” Xander hissed, looking frustrated and mortified at the same time at that rather graphic explanation.

“What? Mayo stains like nothing else, Xan and you know it.”

“Mayo?! You’re talking about mayo?!”

“Of course he was,” Cage said with a straight face. “What did _you_ think he was talking about, Xan?” He raised an expectant eyebrow.

“Nothing,” came the faint answer from his embarrassed-looking lover.

\---

Shaking his head, Xander went back to what he was about to tell Jo.

“Anyway, killing the things that go bump in the night and teasing friends and family were also very common these last few weeks. You know, mostly normal everyday stuff. Except for killing that Big Bads—sorry, Spike—because not every fandom does that.”

Seeing the disappointed look on Jo’s face at that less than dirty-sounding ending of the explanation of what they had been doing, Cage said, “We did find an oral activity that we like more than eating . . . More than one, actually.”

Catcalls and wolf whistles came from every part of the room at that piece of information.

Jo grinned. “ _Now_ we’re talking! Do tell.”

Xander perked up when she said that. “We’ve been playing Suck-and-Blow a lot these past few weeks.”

Everyone started laughing at that innocently-delivered statement. Rewinding the last few seconds in his head, Xander blushed.

“Oh, god, that’s not what I meant at all!” he said, looking totally mortified.

He groaned when another thought came to him. ‘Oh, no, I just said that on a television show which is broadcasted to _all_ fandoms. Please, please, _please_ , don’t let anyone be at home watching this.’

\---

Dom raised an eyebrow. “What did you mean then, Xander?”

“I was only talking about that game called Suck-and-Blow, not _that_ ,” he said earnestly. “Just the game we played at night when we were in our room in our sweats.”

“A game called Suck-and-Blow, eh?” Cage asked him. “I know a game where those two things would come in handy, but I’m not sure that we’re talking about the same thing here.”

Xander groaned. “Oh, god, it’s getting worse.” He blinked large, innocent eyes at Dom and Cage. “The game _I_ taught you guys all those weeks ago.”

“You taught Dom and Cage how to suck and blow?” Jo asked, looking at Xander with a faux-innocent look.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he answered, sighing exasperatedly. “They knew how to suck and they knew how to blow, but they didn’t know how to use those two things to play a game.”

“Now, Xander, that’s not true and you know it,” Cage scolded him. “We did know how to play a game where sucking and blowing were part of. And if I remember correctly, you couldn’t find anything that wasn’t good about the way we did it when we did that to you when you challenged us that night.”

Dom smirked. “Cage has a point, Xan.”

“Oh, god, it keeps getting worse,” Xander said quietly. He looked at his lovers. “Ok, I give up; you win at this and I lose. I can’t do it anymore. If I would continue, I would combust from all the heat! Let’s just stop.”

Cage and Dom only smirked in answer.

\---

Dom looked at Jo. “Let’s just say that the three of us have a connection. We connect in _every_ way; be it bedroom and bathroom activities or food.”

Xander whimpered at the bedroom and bathroom comment and hoped that Jo didn’t jump on it. He sighed in relief when she kindly decided on letting that remark slide.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Jo answered. She turned to look into camera two. “Well, ladies and gentlemen, this has been the last episode with these three men. Join us next time for more blind dates on _Crossing Your Path_.”

 

 

**End Crossing Your Path.**

 

 

 **A/N:** Finally, the last chapter of Crossing Your Path is up! Told you that real life has been a bitch. It doesn’t seem as if it will be getting any better in the near future, just so you know.

This is the final chapter of Crossing Your Path. As of yet, I don’t have any plans to continue with this, but I never say never. Maybe I’ll make it a challenge someday or maybe I’ll write another episode of Crossing Your Path somewhere in the (near?) future . . . I don’t know. Ideas are welcome.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this last chapter. Reviews are very much welcome. Flames are still not wanted nor needed. If someone does decide to leave me one . . . Well, I think you know what will happen, but I’ll say it again: flames will be seriously mocked by me and probably my friends as well. You have been warned.


End file.
